


Space Perception

by noisystar



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Baggage, Interdimensional Travel, M/M, Outer Space, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 02:07:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17051042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noisystar/pseuds/noisystar
Summary: BCGC and Benny are both on a team that protects the city. They are sent on a mission together.





	Space Perception

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bobcatmoran](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobcatmoran/gifts).



Having the knowledge of what your universe was in relation to _other_ universes - it was enough to shake the gravity off you. The way Legos experienced life was through all of their senses: their sight, touch, hearing, taste, smell. But these senses were not the only ones. There were ways of interpreting and feeling reality that couldn’t exist in their universe, in the way their bodies experienced and understood life. From traveling to so many worlds, Benny had developed senses he couldn’t even identify; he didn’t have the words to describe them. Some of these other senses could only exist in their respective universe. Some of them stayed with him, and made noticeable differences in the way he experienced reality. His body had developed a way to defy the gravity of his world. Many other senses were not something he had the ability to depict; he could only experience it, knowing it was there but not possessing the ability to describe even to himself what or how it affected him.

He saw the forming of new senses overcoming Bad Cop now like a spiral of dawn bursting through him. His body warped as they both changed shape. The very fabric of time seemed irrelevant to everything except the whim of emotion. Space became a twinkling black wreath of nostalgia around them.

Watching Bad Cop’s face change, yet remain someone who was still undeniably Bad Cop, brought to mind the sunglasses-adorned face from yesterday, over whom Benny had been ridiculously pining. That was just yesterday, just before this surprise adventure wrapped them up in a numbing experience.

###

Benny heard Lt. Smith enter the office behind him. He remained hunched over his desk.

“How are preparations for launch tomorrow?”

“Good,” Benny said quickly. He could feel Smith eyeing the monitors. Scrutinizing, looking for errors.

“Hmm,” Smith’s voice was so quiet it was infuriating. He knew she was about to point out something he didn’t need to hear. “You need any help? Will you be able to get the new engines fully configured by morning?”

Benny sighed and slumped over the back of his chair. _You need any help_ was just another way of saying _Do you even know what you’re doing._ “Maybe, if I could concentrate!” He spun out from the desk and to his feet, stomping out before Smith could probe any further.

He hadn’t wanted to come off so mean. But he just wasn’t himself anymore.

Benny sulked in the hallway, doing a mental check that he had all his things before he left work. He could no longer stand being there.

A deep voice caught him by his heels. “Stop right there.”

Benny turned to see Bad Cop walking down the hall towards him. Despite Bad Cop’s hard expression, and quite frankly their history together, Benny’s heart skipped a beat.

Benny would always remember the sound of Bad Cop's voice when he called him, " _whatever your name is._ " It was like the sound of clouds rolling by. It was irritating how foolishly Benny felt for BCGC, when the Lego barely seemed to notice him -- and when he did, it was not for any reason Benny wanted. But that’s how things usually worked out for Benny - he felt too much, too hard and too quickly.

“Hey there!” Benny replied. He felt himself twitch.

“Leaving work early, huh?” Bad Cop took a long, scathing sip of soda through a straw in a can. “I hope you don’t mind me asking some questions.” The sentiment did not match his tone.

“Is it about spaceships?” Benny was so exhausted at this point, his cheerfulness was robotic. It could’ve been a side effect of his defiance of gravity: just as he floated and bounced around the world, his brain did too, so his mood was always high, like his brain couldn’t touch the ground.

Bad Cop grimaced behind his barring black shades. “You’ve got the instructions ready for tomorrow?”

“I don’t need instructions, Bad Cop. I’m a Master Builder.”

"Hmmm." The mission launch was tomorrow - both Bad Cop and Benny were partnered for it. Benny had been ecstatic at first, learning he’d get to spend more time winning his crush over. Now almost all feeling had turned into stress. Suddenly, Bad Cop closed the space between them. With one sweep of long legs, his face was hovering over Benny's. “We can either do this the easy way, or the hard way. Your choice.”

Bad Cop’s face, the heady color of the sun’s heart at dusk, overtook Benny like a storm cloud. "W-what?"

"As my partner, I expect you not to lie to me."

Benny's eyes widened. "O-oh! I'm not.”

“Yes, you are, brickhead. We’re partners now. There will be _no lies_. And I’m not about to go into space with a Lego too sensitive to know up from down.”

Ouch. Benny winced. “You know what? Maybe you’re on our side and all that now, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t still a big bully!” Benny shoved him off.

Bad Cop grabbed Benny before he could drift out of reach, crushing his wrist. When Benny reared to face him, Bad Cop’s face was beet red - he had struck a chord. “ _Don’t you dare call me that.”_ His voice was menacing, like a snake waiting quietly in a bush.

“What, a bully? ‘Cause that’s what you are!”

Bad Cop jerked Benny closer as Benny tried to keep his distance. “No way, José! You aren’t getting away that easily. We are going on a high-stakes mission tomorrow. You and me, bud. And you’re telling me you don’t need instructions? On a state-of-the-art spaceship model?” Bad Cop snarled. Benny’s heart was sinking under Bad Cop’s glare, becoming devoured by thick, sticky anxiety, suddenly swelling in from the corners where it was always lurking and seeping in.

Bad Cop growled; “ _Mister ‘80s Space Guy?_ ”

Benny paused in an effort to keep his lip from quivering. “St-Stop it.”

“Stop what?” Bad Cop dragged Benny closer as the minifig began turning to jelly. “Stop taking precautions to make sure our ship doesn’t start falling apart with us in it? Stop making sure my partner is prepared to re-build if we get hit? Stop _helping_?” Bad Cop choked on his next word, eyebrows raising in bewilderment. “Hey, stop that!”

Hot tears were boiling just behind Benny’s eyes, he could feel them. His face was fire red, his mouth squirming as he held it all in.

Benny finally snapped. “You don’t know what you’re talking about! Stay in your lane, beatin’ sticks!”

Thunder crackled between them, glowing in each of their faces. Bad Cop’s grip was still firm, his teeth threatening to break under their own weight with each passing second.

“You better do whatever it takes to fix whatever insecurity this is, Spaceman,” Bad Cop growled, much quieter than before. Maybe softer. “A personal insecurity like this might as well be a missing piece in our ship.”

For a moment, Benny couldn’t breathe, caught off by Bad Cop’s careful tone. He swallowed. “ _Fine_ ,” He said, relaxing against Bad Cop’s grip. “But first, get off of me, alright? And gimme some of that soda!” His voice squeaked.

Bad Cop’s lip curled. Moments passed as his black glasses pointed, unmoving, at Benny. “Fine then.” He stepped back from Benny and stood there with an unreadable expression. He jerked the straw of his soda into his mouth, took a lingering sip, then smacked his lips and held it out to Benny.

Benny grabbed the soda and took a huge slurp.

He was sensitive to the taste of things. The cool liquid sung against every surface of his mouth. It lapped at his throat with soothing, crackling brushstrokes.

Benny took another slurp, savoring as much as he could before he would have to experience life without it swishing against his taste buds. Then his eyes narrowed. “Why do you drink out of a _straw_ in a _can?_ It’s weird!” Benny took another loud, gargling sip as he got to the last of the soda.

“It’s better for your teeth--that’s not what we’re discussing right now!” Bad Cop grabbed for the soda while Benny maintained his grip on it. “What are you - give… me… my… soda!”

“No!” Benny cried as the can smashed between their hands. Benny pulled it from Bad Cop’s grip, then threw it clanging to the ground. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” he exclaimed, successfully turning and stomping off.

Bad Cop roared after him, “You better pick up that can before I pin your ass for littering!”

Benny had to get in the last word. “See you tomorrow, Bad Cop!” he repeated in a scream as he slipped out the door.

****

###

The ship rumbled as night compiled itself around them, closing in like the shadow of a wall building its existence. Things had not improved between BCGC and Benny, but since the launch went smoothly, BCGC was off Benny’s back and they rode in silence - for now.

Being a Master Builder meant a lot of experimental missions. When he had discovered what he was all those years ago--when he found he was able to assemble a rare spaceship without the directions--he did not expect all this adventuring to get _tiresome_ . But there were things that were not so bouncing-off-the-walls and joyous. There were things that fulfilled you the way a good cry did. Things that exhausted you like a dream that ended up being much too long by the time you woke up. In retrospect, a nightmare, an experience imagined or not that changed your waking life. That pushed your limits too far and sure you overcame it but you never really wanted to overcome _that_ limit. You were fine with that limit. You didn’t need to experience that or know that was even a thing. Really.

Like being required to build an entirely new spaceship, one with functions and capabilities superior to any 1980s ship, no matter how rare.

It was the small comforts that got him through those doubts. Like watching BCGC struggle with the change in gravity was entertaining. He scrambled to hang onto things and to keep himself upright, which just made it worse for him. He shot a couple glares at Benny, who was bobbing peacefully over his seat. Despite BCGC’s attitude, Benny was the kind of good person who could still appreciate things about the cop - like how cute he looked in his fittingly black spacesuit. His suit had a lot more to it than the veteran space guy’s; there were vents, tubes, and compartments that may come in handy, but in Benny’s experience, absolutely would not.

“You gettin’ the hang of things over there, Bad Cop?” Benny stifled his laughter.

Bad Cop was hanging onto the back of his seat, seemingly for dear life, messing with the vents in his suit in an attempt to sit his ass in the chair. “Listen,” he grunted between the loud exhalations of his vents, doing some kind of reverse pull up while aiming his butt towards the seat cushion. “I’ve been doing investigative work for more years than you can probably count.”

“ _Doubt that_ ,” Benny muttered.

Bad Cop ignored him. His butt went the exact opposite direction he wanted it to go, and he flipped upside-down. “I know… a thing, or two…” he said as he struggled to get back down again, “about how things can surprise you.”

Benny knew that, on a mission like this, surprises - exceptionally _surprising_ surprises - were inevitable. His job was to keep them from the surprises that could haunt them for the rest of their lives. Or at the very least, keep them from derailing the mission completely.

He turned to gaze out of the expansive front window of the ship. Out in space, colors descended into each other. They collapsed and left the ghosts of mountains, framing their target planet. The brick-laden globe grew steadily larger. Benny looked over the system read-outs, wringing his mouth; they were so… complicated. Crowded. Much more technical than the panels he was used to. He really had done his research, but it just was not the same working with this new ship. “We’re on course for landing now,” said Benny hesitantly.

“What? Already?” Bad Cop said, still in the thick of his anti-gravity acrobatics.

“Yep! You’ve been trying to sit down for over an hour.” Benny gracefully moved to the control panel. He sucked in a breath, trying to remember the sequence for landing -- but Lt. Smith’s annoying voice clogged his head. Benny squeezed his eyes shut to tune her out, and grabbed the controls. “Buckle up!” He squeaked.

Bad Cop growled in exasperation. “How?!”

His struggling was what Benny needed to lighten up, and he looked over to see Bad Cop with the cutest flush in his cheeks. “Just hold on!” Benny grinned, and the ship blasted through turbulence in its descent.

The ship jerked so violently, even Benny went flying out of his seat. “Whoa!” he cried, quickly reorienting himself. He looked around hastily for Bad Cop, whom he found had been propelled to the back of the cabin. He was floating upside-down, holding his head. The ship was gaining in speed, and Benny was being pushed towards the back of the cabin as well.

“Is this normal?!” Bad Cop shouted as he re-situated his helmet while struggling against the force of the ship’s descent.

Benny reached the control panel and was running diagnostics frantically. “Y-yeah!” The panel suddenly blared red at him.

“Liar,” Bad Cop growled from behind Benny.

“N-no, this is just a temporary… normal setback!” Benny said. “C’mon, spaceship!” _Don’t do this, not in front of Bad Cop._

“I hope you’re not about to tell me that _that_ is normal.”

Benny turned to look at Bad Cop, then followed the direction of his pointed finger; outside the glass shield, pieces of the ship were spiralling by them.

“Uhhh…”

“You brickhead, I knew I couldn’t trust you!” Bad Cop barked.

“Yeah, well, maybe I shouldn’t have trusted _you!_ ”

“It was your job to get us _to_ and _from_ the place of interest! It was your only job!”

Alarms began wailing within the ship, lighting them up in harsh, spilled-over red and etches of shadow. Benny’s voice bled into the light like acid. “Maybe I can’t work around bullies like you! Maybe _you’re_ the mistake!”

The ship started shaking, then vibrating faster and faster, until colors and sounds ran into each other and everything felt like one big piece of existence that they were all trapped in.

“What’s happening now?!” came Bad Cop’s voice.

“Just--hold on!” was the best Benny could offer.

****

###

****

On Earth, Benny always longed for where his spaceships would bring him. Often, he would catch himself in the middle of the day, staring up at the sky. Getting sucked in, like he was falling, becoming encapsulated by blue. Looking so hard until the back of his eyes hurt, trying to see the universe behind it. Coating himself in it until he came out the other side.

After so many missions that brought him way beyond anywhere he ever could have imagined, things no one _should_ ever imagine - to him, his suit looked sky-stained, and he never wanted to change it. Even as the planet and ship logo faded, he didn’t want his suit to be touched. It was untainted sky, wrapped around him. However far he got from Earth, he’d have that piece of its sky with him, grounding him.

He fantasized about love, about how it might feel like falling into the sky. About what piece of that love he would take with him, flying across universes, to remind him when he needed it. Maybe a badge, or something.

As both Bad Cop and Benny changed shape, their bodies morphing so that they could exist in this new universe, Benny saw what looked like flashes of Good Cop’s face - someone Benny hadn’t seen since the defeat of Lord Business. It was like the two faces were forced to combine into one; Bad Cop’s face could no longer swivel the way a Lego’s could in their Lego universe. Good, thought Benny - he was tired of Bad Cop’s grumpo attitude.

When reality came to a stop around them, the ship had disappeared. Both explorers had changed just as much as their unfamiliar environment. Benny was accustomed to the perspective-disorienting shift when traversing dimensions. He found his footing instinctively.

BCGC was beside him, face-down on the ground. He was saying something in his gruff voice, muffled by the floor in his face. Benny watched pleasantly as BCGC struggled to get up, and, having no idea how to stabilize himself, fell right over. He was still hiding most of his face behind thick black shades, and fixed them every time they fell askew. “Would you like some help?” said Benny.

“No.” BCGC replied before Benny even finished the question. Benny made no attempt to hide his giggling as BCGC continued to begrudgingly wrestle with the strange new reality of their environment. Benny loved dwelling on the silly nothings. They were his solace against the wild darkness he encountered among the universes. It wasn’t the nightmares that he thought about, but the funny way he hit his head on the ceiling when he woke up. He couldn’t help but admire the familiar determination that drove the cop. Eventually, BCGC huffed as he wobbled onto his feet. “You find all of this funny? This- this failure of yours, _Master Builder?”_

Benny blinked, his breath catching in his throat. He looked around, eyelashes flapping, grasping for signs that this was _not_ a failure --

“No no, look at me, Spaceman!” BCGC growled, stumbling to Benny and snatching his hands. “Now tell me the truth! What did you do?”

Benny started breathing quickly, looking around again -- the place they were in, it was a room, there was a table, covered in _tiny bricks,_ and BCGC’s hands, they weren’t… his hands had _five fingers -_

“Benny!” BCGC hissed, this time so close to Benny’s ear he could taste his voice behind his eyes. He snapped to him, eyes wide, as if he could blanket BCGC’s vision with them and keep him from realizing where they were, keep him from knowing the truth. He hadn’t meant to bring BCGC here, ever. “Benny, forget where we are, just for a minute!” He yanked on Benny’s hands and Benny glared into those dark sunglasses in response. They breathed in each other’s steam.

A strangled gasp came from BCGC. Benny saw that BCGC was still looking at the table. Benny leaned closer. He stopped, startled, when he found what it was BCGC was looking at.

There were tiny figures of people in the city. They were almost alive. The more Benny looked at them, the more he realized they were uncannily real, almost-living Legos, down to each corner. They just didn’t move. Then there was one that looked just like--

It was Emmett. There was no denying it. It was exactly Emmett. But it was nothing like Emmett. They were Legos, but they weren’t Legos at all. They were the same texture, they had the same faces, the same clothes. But they were small. They were lifeless.

BCGC stepped forward, and picked up the eery Emmett, feeling his fragile body between his fingers. Almost as soon as he touched him, he dropped him like he had been bitten. “Wha--he even feels… _real_ … What is this?” He spat.

Benny realized they’d been here long enough, and he had no answers to offer BCGC. Hastily, he grabbed the tiny version of their ship, taking advantage of himself as he was now to troubleshoot from this angle. He couldn’t recall the blueprint for the original ship, but he knew enough to switch around some of the tiny bricks and add some configurations from the ‘80’s ships he knew to ensure their smooth journey back. Ha, his old ship knowledge still had some use.

“C’mon, let’s get outta here,” Benny held out his hand to BCGC.

BCGC curled his lip at him. “You think I’m going to follow an incompetent stooge like _you?_ After you got us into this mess? You’re the reason we are here in the first place!”

Benny grit his teeth. “Bad Cop, you don’t have a choice!”

“ _No!_ ” BCGC spat, backing away violently. He ran backwards into the wall, his body freezing up. He grabbed his head, gritting his teeth. His fingers curled against his skull, his skin turning white.

“I’m not leaving without you!”

“I… can’t… trust you!” BCGC gargled, chest heaving with shaky breaths. “I can’t!” His voice got louder, filling the room like the ship’s alarm.

“You have to!”

“I can’t be trapped like this!” BCGC said, clutching his head as if he was holding it on.

“Come on, just take my hand!” said Benny, shaking his outstretched fingers. “I know you’re afraid, but we have to keep going!”

“NO, MA!”

Benny froze as BCGC seemed to realize the words that escaped him. He slowly slid to the floor. “I can’t… do that again…” he said through grit teeth.

“You won’t.” said Benny. “You’re not trapped this time.”

For a moment, Benny thought BCGC would attack him, as his expression got more and more fierce. Finally, BCGC ripped off his sunglasses and stared straight into Benny. BCGC’s eyes were large and watery. Pleading. It seemed to take all of his energy to force himself up, straight into Benny’s arms.

****

###

****

When they were back in the ship hurtling through dimensions, it seemed like they had taken the other universe’s silence with them; a dead silence, a silence confused with life.

Their little detour was getting to Benny. He couldn't even ask himself how they had gotten out of there; inter-dimensional travel rarely made sense. It was more likely to warp the fabric of your mind if you tried to think about it. He was twitching uncontrollably in his seat. Bad Cop was holding onto the arms of his chair, hovering and staring straight ahead. Finally, Benny cried out, unable to contain himself any longer. “I can’t do this!” He jerked his hand out and pulled the lever that would stop the ship. It came to a halt, and outside the windows laid a familiar, black universe. “I need some space!” he said, launching himself out of his seat and towards the hatch. Bad Cop was still at a loss for words, watching him go blankly.

Benny floated outside the ship, tethered by a cord. The sound of space was like an airplane in the distance. So loud, but so far away. All around you in blue. The infinite colors of space bloomed like smoke stacks in the distance. Like someone was warming up by a fire the color of a still heart.

The universe made it easy to alienate your own thoughts. Thoughts that he wasn’t good enough? Bye. Thoughts that he was undesirable, undeserving? Gone. That he and everyone he cared about were insignificant plastic things? What did that matter when he could simply float. No one mattered, no one else’s opinion, but his. And in that moment, he chose to love himself. To prefer himself over anything. For as long as he could float, and maybe longer.

Among the moon, on the same playing field as the sun, was power. Power Benny could not experience on Earth; he was always answering to someone else, waiting for someone else to tell him he could build spaceships.

“Benny. What was that?” Benny was startled when he looked down at Bad Cop; his face was in mid-transition, warped, so that corners of Bad Cop’s and Good Cop’s faces were both visible.

It was the first time Benny had seen any part of Good Cop’s face for a long while. BCGC was tethered with his own cord, and was clinging to the side of the ship.

Benny was experienced in explaining this, as he had had to explain many unexplainable things to himself throughout his travels; he had to rationalize what he’d seen. He turned away, gazing at a cluster of clouds that sparkled like the windows of distant homes catching sunlight. “Whatever we perceived to be life,” he said, scratching his head, “well, our perception changed, because we were experiencing it through another universe. Like, looking through a different window, with different material, different texture, a different way that it opens using different means… Through that universe, life is experienced... differently.” Benny trailed off, shrugging. Suspended in cold, aged peace. A kind of peace that had settled far beyond its creation. Like nothing on the young Earth.

“ _This_ is what it’s like? Traveling through other universes?”

Benny nodded.

Bad Cop gawked. “It’s like… seeing death…”

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Benny said earnestly. “You were right not to trust me. I failed. That was not supposed to be a part of this mission. You haven’t even been properly trained for…”

“I can’t believe this is what you see. This is what you experience. I had no clue.” Bad Cop was still processing. “This… I don’t know if I can ever shake this.”

“Sometimes it stays with you. Like a death,” Benny agreed. “Sometimes I hope that returning back to our universe will erase the memory of another. Sometimes it fades. Not always.”

“Our lives… like that… it’s sick. It’s like… we as living beings are a _joke_.”

Bad Cop was silent for a while, still jagged. His face was turned toward the vastness of space. Slowly, his hand closed around Benny’s. “You said there was proper training. You’ve seen more of this, more universes. Have you… how… do you live with it?”

Benny took a deep breath, listened to the scratching of his oxygen through the vents. Like ten fingers, alien but comforting, tickling his ears. “I don’t know, Bad Cop. I have no explanation. That’s the truth. It just is.”

Bad Cop looked at Benny, and Benny turned to face him. “And so are we," Bad Cop affirmed. "We’re here, too.”

Did that matter? Benny could have said. What comfort was that supposed to bring, Benny wondered. But it must have brought comfort to Bad Cop. Benny felt it; he felt Bad Cop in a way he couldn’t explain. Through senses he had acquired in different universes, universes he wished he never knew, that brought him unease and discomfort and made it difficult to be honest to his friends. And, now, he was grateful for those senses, and that he could feel Bad Cop like this.

Benny squeezed Bad Cop’s hand, and Bad Cop squeezed it back. Benny said to him, softly, “Let’s stay up here a little longer.”


End file.
